Wake Up from the Tyranny of the Conditioned Self

There isn’t anything you need to improve, change, or heal. There isn’t anything wrong with you, and there never has been. This may sound a bit strange coming from someone who has spent the last 30 years counseling people, and from someone who returned to graduate school in her early 50’s to get a PhD in Depth Psychology. And from someone who no longer cares about credentials, education, spiritual knowledge and so on. People who share my profession make their living from helping people face and fix their “problems.” It can be a big morale booster to know you are helping someone. However, focusing on the perceived problem can be the problem.  

The only real problem is the belief in a self that has been deeply conditioned. No one is to blame, for everyone has been programmed by family, neighbors, school, church, teachers, our community, our entire world. Unless a human being has recognized his/her conditioning and questioned its validity, one is being driven by conditioned preferences, beliefs, values, desires, dislikes, perceptions, judgments, actions, and reactions. Separate self, false self, conditioned self, ego—these are interchangeable terms for an identity that was made up and is fake. It never existed, yet we believe it is who we are.

How powerful is our conditioning? It controls everything from the profession, the partner, and lifestyle you are choosing to how you spend your day, your money, and your energy, even to how you treat your body and the Earth. How many of us have worked in a job or career we really did not like, but believed it was the right thing to do? Years later, we look back and see how many hours, days, and years we spent doing something that did not feed our heart and soul. This realization can be crushing. Again, there is no one to blame.

And what about free will? Do you believe you are freely making choices throughout the day? If you look very closely, you will notice that your choices are driven by conditioning too. Most of our days are filled with habits, routines, and the same choices. Thus, they are not freely chosen. They are based upon what the body-mind is conditioned to do. That is why breaking a long-term habit can be so difficult.  

Your true Self is pure and knows not of conditioning.

Think about it, if you were to strip away all the programming, what remains? Think back to when you were an infant before the conditioning took hold of you. You were aware of everything around you and nothing felt separate from you. And then you were told you had a body which was separate from other bodies, you were called a specific name, you were told you were a boy or a girl, you were taught you were part of a family with a certain history, and then you began to identify with a “me.” But, what if like an etch a sketch, you cleared away everything you were taught including every experience that has happened throughout your life? Who exists?

Dzogchen = Total Perfection

Investigate your beliefs. Watch your mind. Your thoughts are akin to clouds blocking the sunlight of your pure Being. Be vigilant about your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions arising because they are distracting you from the truth of who you truly are. In this moment, you can turn your attention not to a new belief system, but to directly discovering your nature that exists beyond all conditioning. This very nature is termed Dzogchen, a Tibetan word that means Total Perfection which is your true and innate reality. 

Ask yourself: Who am I without these programmed patterns? Are the beliefs I have about myself even true? If I no longer choose to believe them, then Who Am I? You will notice the body relaxing when you begin challenging your beliefs. Years of false beliefs create tension in the body.  Tension can lead to anxiety. Over time, the conditioned self becomes an inner tyrant, and we end up feeling imprisoned by it. As we practice self-inquiry, the tyrant begins to loosen its grip on our minds and then layers upon layers of tension can unwind from our bodies.   

As the conditioning dissolves, it is helpful to practice understanding and compassion. Since our thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions are based upon how we perceive ourselves, regret and shame over how we may have behaved could begin to surface. This is very normal. We are waking up from myriad false beliefs, and looking at our past may feel upsetting at times. Patience, kindness, and loving yourself is important.

There is not a thing wrong with you, and there never has been. Relax. You can stop wasting your energy doing anything except holding your shadowy beliefs up to the light and clearly seeing them for what they are: shadows. No matter what you have gone through, nothing could harm or change the infinitely loving Being that you are. You don’t need to believe me, just check it out. Look at your life. Everything you have ever done, the “positive” and “negative” actions, have been an attempt to feel loved or loving. And the greater the belief in the conditioned self, the more distorted our actions will be. But behind every action is our best effort at experiencing love and happiness. The search for love, fulfillment, and happiness can end right now. You are the love that you have been seeking. You are Total Perfection. Namaste.