The most significant challenges posed by our conditioned, egoic-thinking are the primary sources of our suffering. We have multiple layers of conditioning—thoughts, perceptions, emotions and myriad patterns of reactions that make us push away anything uncomfortable. This causes us to contract and tighten up. And tightening bleeds into our body, causing tension in the neck, shoulders, back, hips, knees, and ankles—stiff and rigid. It doesn’t stop there; this tension can lead to imbalances in the body causing disease, and chronic pain, and to emotional imbalances that lead to anxiety and depression.
Simply speaking, all suffering comes from resistance. One of the quickest ways to wake up is by not resisting anything.
Imagine a river flowing effortlessly over rocks and through valleys, its journey unhindered by obstacles. In the same way, allow your thoughts and emotions to flow like water, unimpeded and free. Resistance creates turbulence, but acceptance brings peace. When you cease to resist, you embrace the present moment fully, and in that embrace, you awaken to the true essence of your being.
Pain will still arise, such as the grief experienced over the loss of a loved one. However, when one clearly recognizes that they are not the conditioned, separate self, prolonged pain—known as suffering—becomes a choice.
Prior to awakening, our conditioning controls our reactions, and we tend to repeatedly react the same way. Post-awakening, we clearly see it as an option. Not in a spiritual-bypassing-kind-of-way, but truly as something that does not align with our genuinely joyful true nature. The way you can tell the difference is that you will not experience any resistance to whatever is arising.
Let me share something personal. I recently went through a life-and-death situation with my daughter that left her partially handicapped. She spent weeks in intensive care, and it wasn’t clear if she would survive. Even if she did, we knew there would be physical and mental limitations. But throughout those weeks that turned into months, I did not suffer. This situation was clearly another opportunity to deepen my awareness of my true nature. My daughter was also experiencing something that gave her a chance to wake up. This perspective was also true for everyone involved, especially the other two people closest to the scene: my husband and ex-husband.
We received an outpouring of love and prayers from people. Some couldn’t understand how I could stay so calm and assumed I must be feeling awful. They didn’t realize I saw the divine unfolding of events, each and every moment. Every day, as I drove to and from the hospital, I marveled at the love being shared and received. This love was both healing and transformative on a soul level for everyone involved. I dropped all the narratives about why it was happening and what the outcome might be. As I practiced non-resistance, my focus remained on what was unfolding in the present and I did not suffer.
Steps to Letting Go
1. Identify a situation that feels heavy, irritating, or confusing (or all three).
2. Tune into your body and notice any tension. Where is it located?
3. Recognize that this process allows you to identify conditioned thoughts, emotions, and somatic patterns.
4. Soften your viewpoint regarding the situation. Be willing to release your tight grip on it. Momentarily, surrender your thoughts and beliefs about the situation.
5. Understand that whatever is happening is simply occurring. There is no need to hold onto it in your mind or body; you are safe to let it go. You do not need to maintain any specific perception about it. Observe it neutrally.
6. Notice how the mind begins to feel less contracted. This fosters a sense of space and openness. As the mind opens, the body may initially feel constricted, but this will lead to greater spaciousness in both the body and mind as layers of conditioning are released.
Every time you feel that tightness or tension inside, it’s an invitation to expand and open into spaciousness. It is like the universe giving you a nudge, saying, “Hey, here’s your chance to awaken a little more.” And here’s the good news: there’s no such thing as letting go and opening too much.
Stay tuned to your body. It constantly reveals where we are holding tension. Maybe it’s in your shoulders or your stomach. Notice any tightness in your thoughts too. These physical and mental constrictions are doorways to expansion. They’re not something to run away from. Instead, see them as your perfect opportunity to release old conditioning. It’s a bit like shedding an old skin. This practice will facilitate a transition from a state of contraction to one of expansiveness. Embracing this approach is key to your becoming free from the conditioned ego-self.
So next time you feel that tension, don’t try to escape it. Allow yourself to expand through it. This is how you tap into your true nature and let go of what is not authentic. Suffering is optional as you awaken and letting go is a profound act of love and devotion for the true Self.
Love always,
