Relationships: Mirrors for Transformation

Laura Grace’s Anecdotes for the Wide Awake Reader, October 2011

Relationships: Mirrors for Transformation

What is it that we as human beings want more than anything else?  Well, despite the focus on accumulating more “stuff,” what we truly want is quite often the very thing that we push away the most: happiness, creative work and fulfilling relationships.  The bottom line is we want those intangible things that fulfill our heart and honor our soul.  And, meaningful connections are right up there at the top of the list.

While we may have moments of loving freely, it is often hard to sustain particularly where it matters most—in our closest and personal relationships. So, why, if love is so mighty, are human relationships fraught with so many challenges?

Well, the phenomenon of “projection” is often the culprit. Relationships, as challenging as they may be, are perfect “mirrors” for us to become more aware, grow and evolve. They are classrooms for us to explore where we unconsciously block love, intimacy and authentic connection.

Our first relationship always begins with ourselves. From there, our relationships with others allows us to see how we treat ourselves. Until we can accept all aspects of ourselves, it’s impossible to truly accept and love another. In the East, spiritual teachers remind us that, “The world is as you see it.” Here in the West, spiritual teachers and psychologists have shared it another way, “It’s all done with mirrors,” which speaks of the experience of projection.

For example, if I’m a perfectionist, I will criticize someone who is comfortable making mistakes, or be attracted to someone who is more laid back than me and enjoys the journey more than the outcome. However, with the latter, once the attraction has died down, I may find it irritating that they are not “trying hard enough” to get the job done or are not doing it “right.”

Can you relate?

Human relationships are a significant part of our emotional and spiritual journey. Through relationships, we are given the invaluable opportunity to recognize and resolve issues around trust, intimacy, projection, forgiveness, commitment, insecurity, jealousy, and projection.

What might someone be “mirroring” back to you?


Laura V Grace

3 responses to “Relationships: Mirrors for Transformation

  1. I just read your newest blog, Laura, and found it to be very helpful with a situation I’m in right now with a friend. We may both be “projecting” onto each other which is why there’s a rift. Seeing her as a “mirror” to me helps me put things more in focus. Keep blogging such great wisdom!


  2. Wonder Post Dearest Laura! It is so often true, the things that drive me the craziest in others, are often the very things I need to look at in myself! Earth Angel Blessings Always, Sapphire and the Six Graces!!

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