Dreams: The Looking Glass of Relationships

DREAMS: The Looking Glass of Relationships

Deepen your intimacy in relationships  images

Our nighttime dreams are the looking glass into our relationships and relationships are a significant part of our lives. Jean Paul Sartre stated, “Hell is other people,” and though that might feel true at times, without relationships, we severely limit our ability to evolve. Humans are hard-wired to connect. Developing open, loving, trusting and healthy connections takes great commitment, consistent effort, and mindful awareness. Specific dream characters, symbols and feelings emerge to show you unresolved fears, insecurities, and even traumatic experiences that occurred and are inhibiting your connection with others.

See your beliefs, attitudes, and judgments toward yourself and others

Dreams are often referred to as the “mirror to your soul” because they reflect the deeper, hidden aspects of us that we are not seeing clearly. Also, they reveal how others see us which likely differs from our self-perception. Jung referred to this aspect as the “persona,” the mask we wear in public for others to see. It is the false-self that needs approval and strives to be liked, appreciated, and wanted. Therefore, our dreams are not meant to please us but to awaken us. They are often perceived as disturbing because they will not succumb to our noblest notions of ourselves. “The closer one looks,” Marc Ian Barasch states, “The more [dreams] seem to insist upon a challenging proposition: You must live truthfully. Right now. And always. Few forces in life present, with an equal sense of inevitability, the bare-knuckle facts of who we are, and the demands of what we might become.”

Dream characters are “projections” of ourselves

When someone appears in your dreams, ask yourself, “What is my perception of this person?” It might be someone you haven’t seen in twenty-five years or your current next door neighbor. The key is to get in touch with how you see this person and what traits they are mirroring back to you. This is not easy because no one wants to see negative qualities in themselves. Which is one of the reasons that the unlikeable traits have been projected on to another during dreamtime. Rich with self-awareness, dream characters are the psychic lens for you to truly see yourself. They reveal your false-self, the persona and mask that you wear as well as the traits you have adopted since you were very young. Every person starring in your nightly dreams are unconscious projections of yourself. From this advantageous perspective, your dream characters can help you learn more about yourself than you might ever imagine.

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For a deeper exploration into your dreams, please click HERE.

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Join me in my upcoming webinar on “dreams” check it out HERE

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Opening, and Staying Open, to Love

Opening, and Staying Open, to Love
 

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So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day…. — Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

We are offered no greater opening to know the truth of who we truly are than in relationship. Relationships are such powerful catalysts because they mirror the aspects we most need revealed for our soul growth. What we strongly react to in another, we possess within ourselves. This is projection of our shadow. Both the fear and love we see in another is the reflection of both our own humanness and divinity. Even during the most challenging times we are being given the opportunity to grow since our encounters with others are our greatest opportunities for growth.

We flourish the most when we are willing to be fully present. And yet, why is that we frequently divert onto other things when we’re around the people we love the most? How often, after many years of being together, do people simply grow apart? While counseling couples, I’ve witnessed a common theme when the woman has attended to the home and children (and, often worked), while the man has focused on earning a living, only to discover that when retirement rolls around, they no longer know each other!

People have sometimes assumed that my relationship with my husband is so good because we’re “fortunate” or just “really compatible,” when in reality, we work hard at it. We’re actually very different in many ways but we make our relationship a top priority and always have.

When our relationships become stale and predictable, it may be because we are not honoring them for the temples of healing that they are, or, we may not be delving inward toward our soul where our passion runs deep. This reminds me of a conversation I had with a woman who was complaining that her life was lacking in pizzazz. “The 1960’s was a period with a lot more excitement. The peace marches were really something. Today’s demonstrations are boring in comparison,” she stated.

Yes, the 60’s were a time of great upheaval and change. There was a lot of trail blazing occurring which was necessary to get us where we are today. Revolutionary thinking was key during that time, but evolutionary thinking is required today. And that’s a good thing. While there was much being done on the outer planes during the 60’s, there is much being created on the inner planes today. We now understand the staggering power of our thoughts, which for many, has led to an entirely new way of being, taking action and living.

Could it be that the woman was feeling bored within her relationships including the relationship with herself? Not because there’s less excitement in the air, but simply because she may be playing it safe and not stretching beyond her comfort zones?

Abandonment, rejection, betrayal—these kinds of wounds can easily cause us to shut down emotionally. And for a period of time while we’re grieving, learning to set strong boundaries and healing, this may be exactly what’s needed. Yet if we continue living this way, we minimize our capacity for experiencing joy and intimacy.

Our deepest pain stems from withholding our love. Yes, someone may have done or said something that hurt us, but we hurt ourselves more deeply when we withhold our love. This reminds me of a beautiful quote I once read from an anonymous source that affirmed, “You can never lose by loving; you can only lose by holding back.”

Notice your relationships, especially those with people you’re closest to. Are they a priority or do you allow diversions keep you from connecting with them? This includes your family and “family” is any group of people that has joined together out of mutual respect and support of one another.

Many years ago while studying A Course in Miracles, I learned something that blew me away: What we’re most afraid of, is love. Amazing isn’t it? So many of us are longing for love and yet, at the deepest level, love is the very thing that scares us the most. This reminds me of a beautiful passage that Robert Perry, the founder of the Circle of Atonement based upon the principles of A Course in Miracles, once wrote:

Because I believe love has limits, I have come to be afraid of it: afraid it will be withdrawn, afraid of its conditions, afraid that what seems to be love is only a tease, a tantalizing promise that threatens to disappear if I misbehave. That fear, that constant anxiety over love’s potential for disappearance is the source of my lack of joy. How can I be joyful, even when things are “good,” if love may be withdrawn at any moment? This is the error of our minds we are practicing to uncover, bring to the light, and let go of. Right now, in this moment, I am encircled by Love’s embrace. Right now, without a single thing changing, Love radiates to me without limit and without reservation or question. To know this is happiness, and it is this I seek today.

The heartfelt wisdom of these words is a powerful reminder for each of us. Despite all of the “stuff” we may experience with another, only the love is real, it’s all that remains when everything is said and done. Dare to go beyond your fear and embrace the love available to you with all of your heart and soul. The power of love is staggering; it has the ability to heal addictions, cure disease, transform past pain into present happiness, and dramatically shift the situation that exists within the world today. Love is the glue that holds our universe together and is the reason we exist. Never underestimate its potency or presence; it’s inside of you, it’s inside of me, it’s everywhere.


© Copyright 2014 Laura Grace. All Rights Reserved.

Using Your Night-Time Dreams as a Pathway to Your Soul

“Dreams show us how to find meaning in our lives, how to fulfill our own destiny, how to realize the greater potential of life within us.”
—Marie-Louise von Franz

Rich with symbols and archetypes, dreams are an invaluable healing instrument, and when regularly processed and understood, can be a pathway to higher consciousness, healed relationships, fulfilling your life’s purpose and greater abundance. Dreams are jackpots of information, especially when you ask for answers to specific concerns. Edgar Cayce taught, “Dreams work to solve problems of the dreamer’s conscious waking life, and they work to quicken in the dreamer new potentials which are his/hers to claim.” Such is the capacity of your nightly dreams.

It’s important to keep in mind that each of your dreams, however silly or insignificant they may first appear to be, are abundant with information. They only await your willingness to learn. Further, dreams are meant to help you, not scare you. Being “stories of information,” they are expressed from your higher self through your subconscious to lovingly guide you. Countless times I’ve heard people exclaim, “I want to learn from my dreams, but mine seem so weird or negative that I’m hesitant to work with them.”

LEARN THE LANGUAGE OF YOUR DREAMS

Dreams are highly personal and using your dreams as a pathway to your soul is a process. In the book Season of Changes, Ways of Response it states, “The greatest book of study is that of your own, written by the soul upon time and space—that of your dreams.” Three key questions to keep in mind while working with a dream is:

1) What am I currently dealing with, or being affected by, that my dream wants me to know?
Dreams tend to reflect your life and its current situation. They bring authenticity and intimacy into your relationships, healing forces into your health and provide insight into other issues you’re facing in the present.

2) What do I need to know from my dreams so I can take the next step in my personal and spiritual growth?
Dreams occur to help you in every area of your life, even those areas that we tend to block and may not want to see. (Examples: addiction, self-destructive behaviors, unresolved relationship and childhood issues, unfulfilling career, etc.

3) How may I see the world around me with a new perspective from my recent dreams?
Your night-time dreams are not ghosts passing through the night, but an active and present reality that you can learn from in your daily life.

For the first time in 5 years, Laura is offering a live dream course. For more information, click HERE.